Halfisms to remember...

It all started with a discussion about mestizos...

C     -     "Mestizos... doesn't that remind you of rice?"

Me  -     "Not really."

C     -     "You know, like that rice in a bag that cooks in a minute -

               Minute Maid."

1/2 -    "Minute Maid!? Minute Maid is orange juice. You're thinking of

               Minute Rice."

C     -     "Oh yeah, that sounds like wild rice or something."

1/2 -     "Wild Rice!? What does the rice do, come charging after

               you!?" (Now imagine 1/2 making the sound of a charging bull

               while giving himself horns and twisting around.)

"If I had a duck, it would drown."

"When I get a haircut, my hat fits better... it's true."

"If you turn your clothes inside out, how does the outside get clean?"

"That was harsh, but sometimes the truth hurts."

  "I've seen dead fish that are more alert than you."

"I would never call you that... only behind your back."

During a discussion about the impossibility of bombing a country and not having other countries effected (I gave the example of smoking sections in restaurants that are separated by a booth or half wall; no matter what you do, others are effected), "That's like having a peeing section in a swimming pool - it makes no sense."

After someone celebrated a birthday and said something intelligent, which was unusual for them, "You turn a year older and get wiser."

After being asked to turn on the television to watch the National Anthem, "How do you watch a song?... If the little ball comes on the screen, I'm leaving!"

This one is actually from Billy 1/2's other 1/2 - Bernie Boo. I figure since they're each 1/2 of the whole, I could include it...

"I'm like a goldfish - once around the bowl and I forget everything."