Try to keep routines as normal as possible. Kids gain security from the predictability of routine, including attending school.
Limit exposure to television and the news.
Be honest with kids and share with them as much information as they are developmentally able to handle.
Listen to kids fears and concerns.
Reassure kids that the world is a good place to be, but that there are people who do bad things or that bad things can happen.
Parents and adults need to first deal with and assess their own responses to crisis and stress.
Rebuild and reaffirm attachments and relationships.
Information on Praising your Teen - see "What's New?"
Confronting Teen Stress Adapted from The Prevention Researcher, Dec 06, Vol 13 (Confronting Teen Stress: Meeting the Challenge in Baltimore City, a guide for parents, teachers, and youth service providers)
Remember what life is like for teens - listen, be open, and realize that you might not always be able to relate to what they're feeling and that's okay. The key to helping teens is to stay ALERT to their stress: Acknowledge that teen stress is often different from adults. Listen to teens and be aware of how teen respond to your level of involvement. Sometimes, just listening is enough. Encourage teens to express how they're feeling when they are stressed. Recognize that teens may have different experiences from each other. Assume that you will have at least one person in your group who will have a different experience. Tune into your own levels of stress.
Learn to say "No."- Try to sort out what is most important in your life.
Listen to the wisdom of your body. - Eat healthy, get exercise, and make sure you get enough sleep.
Keep your sense of humor. - Laughter can do wonders for your stress.
How you deal with your own stress is linked to how you help teens, how they experience stress, and how they learn to cope with their stress.
Smoking...
If you want your child to NOT smoke or if you want them to quite smoking the first most effective technique is to NOT SMOKE YOURSELF. Quit smoking if you are a smoking parent. If you are a current smoker it will be much more difficult to determine if your child has been smoking. But the most important factor here is that your child sees you as a role model. Statistics tell us that if you smoke - your child will likely be a smoker as well.
Parent First Aide You do not need to be your child's friend first. They have friends. BUT, you are the only parents they have. Be their parent first. Don't take your teenager's behavior personally - "keep your cool" Be an active listener - check with them to see if you "get it" - Remember that understanding what is said is not necessarily agreeing Let your child know when it's your job to set reasonable limits Share common feelings - hurt, sad,etc., - but not poor decisions - especially about alcohol or drug use Let your teenager know it's O.K. to have some secrets - except where safety is at risk for themselves or others Be a good role model - kids will do what you do long before they do what you say
Did you know??
Did you know that adolescents need 9 to 9 1/2 hours of sleep a night? Did you know that more than half of all serious juvenile crimes occur between 3 & 7 p.m. Help your middle schoolers stay out of trouble after school by having them check in regularly--on the phone or in person--with a trusted adult.
'Want your student to feel good about him/herself? Decide on a volunteer project where they are helping someone else with nothing expected in return. Set a regular schedule such as once a week, twice a month - whatever works. Watch your student's self-esteem soar!
BE AWARE
Computer use -
Limiting the time your adolescent is on the computer is important - one hour (two hours for special projects) - the younger the student the less time on the computer
The computer should be placed in an area of the house where it is easy to supervise it's use
TV use -
Limit time for TV viewing to one hour per day
Supervise what your student is watching - does the show match your value system
Consequences for poor choices -
Decide where your boundaries are - grades, curfew, family night, clean room, dishes, etc.
Sit down with your student and talk about the rules upon which you have decided and put them in writing. It will reduce arguing if you post the rules on frig. Make the rules few.
Decide what the consequences will be. They should match the choice.
For instance - They do not go out or attend a social event until homework is done. If it is not done - they do not go out.
Follow through. Keep your cool. Give them back the responsibility. Say, "I am sorry you chose not to go to the movies with your friends. I know you were looking forward to going.
If you do not follow through, the message is that you do not mean what you say and when the important issues arise your student will not believe you really mean what you say. "Don't drive and drink." "Don't go to parties where there are drugs." The real rules will be the ones the kids set. So - follow through with the guidelines you all decided on. If they appear to be inappropriate, sit down together, talk, review current rules, negotiate, and reset. If you do not share the rules and consequences you are asking your adolescent to read your mind. They will not be able to make a true informed decision regarding their choices.
Learning Styles - Kids, as well as adults, learn in different ways. Ask your student whether they learn best by reading, taking notes, looking at a video, or doing - trying the skill, in a group, or by themselves. If you would like to learn more, the counseling office has instruments and computer programs that a student can use to determine their personal learning style.
Biological Clock - All of us have a physiological clock that determines whether we will function better in the morning, afternoon, or evening. This information will help you decide on scheduling, chores, etc. Are you a AM or PM person?
Why Do Kids Lie? - We are NOT speaking here of clinical mental health problems. We are talking about everyday lying that drives most parents nuts. Kids lie because they do not want their parents, other adults, and other kids to think badly of them. That motivation, by itself, is not a bad thing. Kids need to know that we will accept them even if they make a mistake. It is okay to be honest about it. The problem is in the lying - not making a mistake. There may be natural or logical consequences for making a mistake but kids also need to know that we will appreciate their honesty and it will help us learn to trust them.
The Four Cornerstones for Promoting a Healthy Weight and Positive Body Image in Teens
Model healthy behaviors for your children
Avoid dieting, or at least unhealthy dieting behaviors
Avoid making weight-related comments as much as possible
Engage in regular physical activity that you enjoy
model healthy (but not perfect) eating patterns and food choices
Provide an environment that makes it easy for your children to make healthy choices
Make healthy food choices readily available
Establish family meal norms that work for your family
Make physical activity the norm in your family and limit TV watching
Support your teen's efforts to get involved in physical activity
Focus less on weight; instead focus on behaviors and overall health
Encourage your teen to adopt healthy behaviors without focusing on weight loss
Help your teen develop an identy that goes beyond physical appearance
Establish a no-tolerance policy for weight teasing in your home
Provide a suppoetive environment with lots of talking and even more listening
Be there to listen and provide support when your teen discusses weight concerns
When your teen talks about fat--find out what's really going on
Keep the lines of communication open--no matter what
Provide unconditional love, not bsed on weight, and let your child know it
Source: Neumark-Sztainer, D. (2005) "I'm, like, So Fat!" Helping your teen Make Healthy Choices about Eating and Exercise in a Weight-Obsessed World. New Your: The Gilford Press
CMS Parent Resource Page Park County School District #6 2901 Cougar Ave, Cody, WY 82414
Don't take your teenager's behavior personally - "keep your cool" 
Be an active listener - check with them to see if you "get it" - Remember that understanding what is said is not necessarily agreeing
