AP Essay Review: 1991 Stravinsky

large view Igor Stravinsky

Review Focus: The Academic Paragraph in the Rhetorical Analysis

All writers have a purpose. In a persuasive (or rhetorical) essay, writers try to convince their audience to agree with their point of view. To think the way they think. To feel the way they feel. Depending on the purpose, and considering the target audience, writers makes choices. These choices are designed to change the way the intended audience thinks or feels.

In a rhetorical analysis, students must first correctly identify the author's purpose and his or her intended audience. Then, students must recognize the choices (or strategies) the author uses. These choice/strategies are designed to change the minds of the target audience.

Each body paragraph focuses on one rhetorical choice (or strategy) made by the writer. Paragraphs should follow this basic structure:

Claim/Opinion: Identify a strategy or choice made by the author who has the intention of planting a thought, idea, or feeling into the minds of his or her audience.

Evidence: Present direct supporting evidence, usually in the form of direct quotations from the text. You must prove beyond a doubt that the writer intended to do this.

Commentary/Explanation: Essentially, explain WHY the author made this choice. HOW might it change or affect the minds of the target audience? Commentary should focus on the author's intentions and the probable effect on the target audience. Higher scoring papers tend to have more commentary than lower scoring papers. It is here that you demonstrate your understanding of what the writer is doing and why.

Here follows some sample student paragraphs from our practice essay. To better illustrate the necessary parts of the academic paragraph, I have used the following color-coding:

Claim/Opinion (red)

Evidence (normal black)

Commentary/Explanation (blue)

Through Stravinskys discussion he uses the rhetorical device of alliteration to stress the impact of the words he is saying. Alliteration is the repetion of the first syllable in words to create a focus on the phrase. Example of this include the following: "power politics" (line 13), "arbitary authority" (line 19), "music-making" (line 21), "music's meaning (line 34), and "pandering public" (line 17).

COMMENT: This writer does not explain HOW, by using alliteration, Stravinsky convinces his audience that conductors are overrated and too highly regarded. It should be added that alliteration is a sound device that aids memory recall. From a purely rhetorical standpoing, it does little more than that. Your teacher has never seen an AP English Language prompt in which alliteration would be an appropriate strategy to write about.

Stravinski uses similies throughout the paper to portray his veiw on conductors. Comparing conductors to politics, Stravinski explains how conductors don't need to represent themselves in a certain matter to gain their audience's attention and respect. Displaying a conductor's ego as a "disease that grows like a tropical weed under the sun," Stravinski portrays conductors to be desperate for attention and exremely egotistical.

COMMENT: First, note that the writer addresses two similes; however, only evidence is given for the second one. A claim is made about how Stravinsky compares conductors and politicians, but the writer offers no direct evidence and gives no commentary/explanation. HOW does this comparison help Stravinsky accomplish his purpose? A second simile is presented, with a corresponding claim, but there is no rhetorical explanation. HOW does this comparison affect the way that the audience thinks? WHY compare conductors to tropical weeds? The probable reasons for Stravinsky's choices are not explained.

The nextis through his view of a "great" coundctor. Stravinsky argues that a conductors's "great image is based purely on an "egotistical, false, and arbitrary auothority" and that this "great" has nothing to do with actual musical talent, but it has to do with how they present themselves to the public as powerful, talented, and authoritative. To go with this theory, Stravinsky makes another comparsion, this time, conductors to actors in that neither "great" actors nor "great" conductors adaot themselces to a work rather they take something that someone has written for them, and adapt it to fit themselves.

The advanced vocabulary choices selected by stravinsky give the paper a feel of importace and docomentation. It makes the reader believe that the author knows, has researched and planned, and can elaborately explain his point of view. It also elutes to a strong argument and good support. A paper with a lower quality of language would not sound nearly as conincing.

Stransky also successfully uses alliteration to enhance his writing style. The repetition of "p" in "power politics" and "pandening public" and of "a" in "arbitrary authonty" creates a more appealing stlye of language and hooks the reader even more.

This emphasis on the sharpe motions is compared to the sharp actions of an actor. This device of comparsion is continued with the metaphor of an ego disiase to a troical weed. Stravinsky describes how the disease is similar to the weed and this metaphor helps give the reader a better idea of what he is trying to say and helps convey his point of view about conductors. Along with metaphors, the use of repetition is used to show the emphasis he is trying to place on how "great" conductors are andthe reason why they are so "great".

Stravinsky calls the conductors manipulators, who show the audience what to fell. Like Napoleon who wore a noble expression after battle, then dances wildly at the after party.this alliasion to a famous docators shows the conductor as evil and commanding. This point is recalledwhen he compases them to a tropical weed, a disease that coins the beauty if the music.

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